7dp3dt...IC=BFP, FRER=BFP

Yep, that's right!!! Both internet cheapie and FRER have a 2nd line so today's results = Big Fat Positive!!! Both are so faint, they're best viewed in daylight...which is why I keep standing by my sliding glass door to look at them. My neighbors would think I'm nuts if they saw me!

We know this early BFP is just the first step of many hurdles to bringing home a baby...making sure we have rising betas, making sure the sac(s) is in the uterus, making sure we have a heartbeat, making sure my cervix will hold a baby in, etc. Heck, we've had 3 BFPs in the last 15 months and you all know what happened with those. But this is an awesome, wonderful, amazing, beautiful first step!!!!

Once the 2nd line is dark enough to be captured in a picture (hopefully in the next couple of days) I'll be sure to post some photos. Sooooooo exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6dp3dt...IC=BFP, FRER=BFN

At 5:55 a.m. I awoke and realized, oh crap I have to pee. Then I realized, oh I can POAS, let's go!!!

Normally urinating does not thrill me, but during POAS season it can be an exciting (or frustrating) time of the day. Armed with my trusty cup and internet cheapie test (IC) I was on the case and ready for some suspense. While the test was processing, I dumped the remaining urine from the cup, washed up, put my morning progesterone suppository in, washed up again (anything to kill a couple more minutes.) Then I looked at the stick and ever so faintly there was a 2nd line. Hmmm...very insteresting. I was just reading online last night that a BFP at 6pd3dt is most often twins or more because it's very early to get a BFP on a HPT. Yes, very interesting indeed.

I had DH look at the test when he awoke a little while later to see if he could see the line (thereby ensuring the line was not imaginary) and he could see it too. I always feel relieved when he sees it - because if he didn't, I would know I've gone off the deep end. Now here was my mistake. I shouldn't have dumped the remaining urine when I did. If I'd thought about it, I could have done a FRER with that same urine to see if that test came out positive too. But at the time I didn't think I'd even get a 2nd line on the IC. So when I tried a FRER a little while later there was no second line.

So what have we learned here? Nothing really. It could be that the IC test has a higher sensitivity than the FRER. Or maybe that IC was a flukey test showing me a false positive. Or because hCG is most concentrated in first morning urine (FMU) it's possible that the hCG in my later urine was't concentrated enough to register on the FRER. Either way, I'm calling today's results inconclusive.

So with that, tomorrow morning I will again grab my trusty cup and this time I will dip both an IC and a FRER. Until then...

5dp3dt - You know I had to POAS

I got to POAS this morning and it felt great!! Test came up stark white. Now normally this is the opposite of what we want to see, but today's test was to make sure I had no hCG left in my system from the trigger shot. This morning's negative HPT confirmed the trigger is all gone.

So going forward, if I see a 2nd line on any tests, I'll know for sure it's not from the trigger shot. Hopefully we'll start seeing that 2nd line in just a few short days...mwah-ha-ha, my addiction awaits!

4dp3dt...Hmmm...Crazytown's not so far away

1 week until beta date!!! No, I have not caved yet and POAS. But I will admit...I've thought about it a LOT more in the last 24 hours. Oh heaven help me, there is no way I'm going to make it until my original goal of Tuesday! Maybe Monday is a more realistic goal. Or Sunday?? Did someone say tomorrow???

Last night I asked DH how he felt about me POAS. After all, he's greatly involved in this whole process and he heard the nurse recommend we not POAS (tests can be inaccurate, negatives can bring you down, etc.) He actually would rather I wait for the blood test instead of POAS. But when I offered to wait (and just so you know, that took every bit of courage I could muster to offer that) he said he knows it would be like some form of horrible, awful torture for me not to POAS. (Insert giant sigh of relief and a loving gaze at DH.)

So then I offered to tell my blog readers about my POAS results but not him. But we realized that wouldn't work. 1) Because he likes to read my blog. Awww, thanks hun! 2) We think he'd have some idea of the results when his parents called with joyous congratulations.

So my last offer was that I would POAS and would not tell him or my blog readers. I'd leave you all in the dark. Well, DH just laughed out loud at that option and gave me a hearty "yeah, right!" I have the world's worst poker face. I can't hide a thing. As he put it, "yes, I couldn't possibly know the results as I watch you out skipping with pup, waving your hands in the air, with an ear-to-ear smile." Oh, he knows me so well...because that is exactly what I would be doing!!

So POAS it will be, but the question becomes "When?" Now, in my first paragraph I mentioned possibly testing tomorrow. Why would someone do this? Well, remember the trigger shots which I took 36 hours before egg retrieval? Those 2 trigger shots contain the hCG hormone - that's right, the same hormone that is detected in pregnancy. If I POAS tomorrow and get a negative result, that indicates that the remnants of the trigger shots have left my system. Which further means that any BFPs after that point are truly pregnancy hormones being detected and not the remains of the trigger shots.

So you see it's all really very logical to start POAS tomorrow. I mean it makes perfect sense, right? Oh, I am so ridiculously lacking in willpower. How do you all put up with me??

My bouncy house is not in Crazytown...yet

Today is 3dp3dt (3 days past 3 day transfer) and we're inching ever so much closer to beta day. T-minus 8 days and counting!! And about 6 more days till I POAS (well, hopefully 6 if I have enough willpower.)

So how am I feeling??? Emotionally - I'm still really chill. Quite honestly, I am surprised (and pleased) with this mellow mood. I figured I'd be in Crazytown by now. Actually I thought I'd be a nervous wreck immediately after transfer. I pictured me all crazed and unkempt, staring at November 4th on the calendar and wavering each minute between elation and depression like I'd been suddenly stricken by multiple personality disorder. Ok maybe not quite that bad, but I did expect to be much more nervous than I am now. Instead, I'm enjoying DH talking to the babies through my stomach! I'm enjoying the fact that we may have a baby (or babies) bouncing around my uterus like it's one of those inflatable bouncy houses you rent for a kid's birthday party. And tonight, once he/she/they get tired of bouncing, they may find the perfect spot to implant. Yeah, right Amanda, I'm sure that's exactly how it works. ;-)

Physically I'm bloated (hence having to unbutton these damn jeans as I type this), a little crampy (pinchy cramps), slightly nauseous, and my boobs feel like I just ran 10 miles without a bra on. Now you and I know I there is no chance in hell of me ever running 10 miles so technically I wouldn't know how that feels, but you can imagine it, right?? Yeah, OWWW!! So I'm starting to feel all of these lovely "symptoms" that aren't really symptoms at all. They're just effects of those lovely progesterone suppositories I'm taking. Oh progesterone, that's just not nice! But since you are providing the cushion for my uterine bouncy house, I'll tolerate your effects with a smile.

Tomorrow at 8am I go to the doctors for some quick b/w. This is just to check my progesterone and estrogen levels and if either are low, they'll adjust my meds accordingly. So I'll report back any progress or problem with that and keep you posted on how things are going. Hopefully I'll still be chill, but no promises...I may be only steps away from Crazytown.

Feeling good and trying to be lazy

Hi there peeps!! Well I am 1dp3dt (1 day past 3 day transfer) and feeling fine. Back's a little sore from bedrest, but that's a small price to pay if this works. DH is doing a great job running the house while I'm resting, though he has had to yell at me a couple of times to lay down and let him take care of things. :-)

Amazingly, I'm feeling really calm about things. Over the last couple of days I've realized that this is our last 2ww (two-week wait). After going through 25 2ww's and 3 pregnancies/losses in the last 2+ years, this is the last time we'll be waiting to see if we're pregnant. While part of me sees this could be a stress inducing thought (and maybe it will become that by next week) another part of me just wants to relax and enjoy this 2ww as much as possible. I'm PUPO right now - and it may be the last time I ever am. So I'm going to cherish the hope that I may really be pregnant and hopefully this calmness will stay with me until next Thursday when we get the official results.

Also, this little chart is posted often on one of the message boards I frequent and it's a nice general snapshot of what is happening daily after a 3dt.

**this is what happens in a 3dt:
1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing
2dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
3dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
8dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
9dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
10dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
11dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

PUPO x 3!!

PUPO = a message board acronym meaning Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise. And that's what we are as of this morning!!

I drank my 18oz of water at 7:30 this morning and we arrived at the fertility center a little earlier than our 9:15 appointment time. They brought us in to the transfer room and had me put that oh so familiar paper sheet over my lower half. The nurse and embryologist came in once I was ready. They did a quick abdominal u/s to see if my bladder was full enough. (When the bladder is full enough it pushes against the uterus and puts the uterus in a position where they can go straight in with the catheter, hopefully avoiding them have to "steer" the catheter into place.) They determined it wasn't quite full enough so the nurse went off to get me more water.

The embryologist then took a few minutes to go over our embie situation. All 3 were still growing YAY! I asked for specifics on how they looked/grades and they were as follows:

• 9 cell - 2B
• 8 cell - 3C this one was graded c since it has 25% fragmentation
• 6 cell - 2B

Generally the faster they divide into more cells, the better they are. And as a rule A & Bs have the best chances, but that's not to say that an embryo with fragmentation, like our 8 cell, can't turn into a beautiful little baby. It sure can - so we've got some good possibilities in there. So she gave her recommendation that for my age, 2-3 embryos is the recommendation and that she would recommend 3 since freezing 1 is not a good option (it may not make it to day 6 to freeze or it may not survive the thaw if frozen.) DH & I had already discussed how many we would want to transfer so we were on board with the recommendation.

The nurse came back with my water, I drank it down, and a little bit later she, Dr V (the RE I adore who did my emergency surgery in August and managed to save my ovary) & the embryologist came back to check the bladder again. This time it was full and ready to go. Dr V again went through the recommendation and risks of transferring 3 to make sure we understood them and had DH & I sign off on the number of embryos being transferred. Then Dr V inserted the speculum & washed the cervix while the nurse held the u/s in place. When everything was ready, he asked the embryologist to go get the embryos.

At this point my heart was racing I was so excited. She came in with the embryos, verified 3 embryos & my name, and they were loaded into the catheter. We were able to watch the catheter go into my uterus and then just a little blob of white appeared to come out of the catheter - our 3 embabies were in that blob!! The catheter was removed and the embryologist took it back to check it under the microscope to make sure all embies made it out and none got stuck inside. Then she came back to tell us "all clear"! And with that, the speculum was removed and I snuggled under my blanket for a 30 minute rest on the table before heading home. Now I'm home and have started my couple days of bedrest.

Some people may think 3 embroys is a lot to transfer. It's actually not...for someone my age that is. If I were 24 years old for example, my RE would only transfer 1. That is their rule and unless I was that young with a bunch of previous IVF failures they would not do more than 1. So age has A LOT to do with it. If my embryos were of perfect quality, they may have recommended only transferring 2. But none of my embryos were perfect quality. So another factor to take into consideration. And to think octo-mom and her psycho doctor transferred 12 embryos! After she already had 6 kids, was a single mom, and unemployed. That's just fucking insane and completely irresponsible! So I hope people realize that most RE's have very, very strict rules about the number of embryos they will transfer back and base the recommendations on a number of factors.

So here are some questions I've answered for people recently:

• Is there a chance that we could end up with triplets? Yes, though it's a very small chance
• Is there a chance of having twins? Yes, 25 % chance of this I believe
• Could any of the embryos they transferred still divide and become identical twins? Yes, but again it's a very small chance of that happening
• Is there a chance of having a singleton? Yes
• Is there a chance that none will take? Yes. Transferring 2-3 offers us the best chance of having a singleton pregnancy but as we all know, you just can't accurately predict what will actually happen

So to wrap this up (since I've written a novel) next step on 10/28 is to have blood drawn to check my progesterone and estrogen levels. Then on 11/04 I go for the blood test to see if we're pregnant. Of course, I'm sure I'll POAS before then, you know I can't refrain from peeing on a stick!! But I'm going to really, really try to hold out as long as possible. :-)

Transfer tomorrow!!

Call from the nurse this morning reported that all 3 embies are still growing - YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And we're going to go ahead and do a 3-day transfer tomorrow morning - YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, I am so relieved!! I mean I know it's great to grow them out longer to a 5-day transfer when they become blastocysts, but it's not uncommon to only have 50% make it to the blast stage. With only 3 embies, I'd rather just get them out of their current incubator in Marlton NJ and get them into their 9 month incubator named Mommy.

So at 7:30am tomorrow I will empty my bladder for the last time and drink 18oz of water. A somewhat full bladder is needed since they use abdominal ultrasound to help the RE know where to deposit the embryos. We'll arrive at the RE's at 9:15am for a 9:30am transfer. I'll definitely report back on how the transfer process actually went, but from what I know so far there is no sedation and it's a relatively quick process. We'll find out the grade or quality of our embryos, discuss how many will be transferred, and sign off on that number. The embryos will be loaded into a catheter that will be put through my cervix into the uterus. DH will be in the room with me during the entire procedure and after the transfer I will lay on the table for 30 minutes. Then my bed and I will become best friends as I basically go on bedrest for a couple days.

Today I think I'll tackle some housework so DH doesn't get stuck doing it all (after all, he's going to have to wait on me hand & foot for a couple days...sorry hun) and get my bedrest supplies ready - books, magazines, movies, charge my Nintendo DS, etc.

And God, I hope you don't mind but I'll be sending up more prayers that our 3 wonderful, much-loved, little embies keep on growing strong.

We're 3 for 5

The nurse called with our fertilization report and 3 of the 5 fertilized! We have 3 little embabies growing a couple towns away from us.

I think if the news had been that only 1 or 2 fertilized, my PMA (positive mental attitude) may have taken a ding. But having 3 fertilized at this point is keeping us optimistic. All 3 may not make it to transfer, but there's a good chance that at least a couple will.

So today (Day 1) our 3 embies showed fertilization. By tomorrow (Day 2) - if they continue to grow & divide normally - they should be 2-4 cell embryos. Now, we wait until tomorrow's report to see how they're all still growing.

I swear the IVF process is like a slow form of torture. Don't you agree??

Recap of our retrieval

So as you saw from my previous post, 5 eggs - hell yeah!!!

I took a nice long nap this afternoon, courtesy of the after-effects of anesthesia. DH just made dinner (what a love) and I'm resting and writing. I'm feeling good overall - a little groggy and just slightly crampy, but nothing major. Here's how the day went...

After arriving at the fertility center, we were taken to an admission room where I changed into my gown. Dr. S came in to say hi and let us know he'd be doing the e/r. A few minutes after he left the anesthesiologist came in to review my history and start my IV. I appreciated that she numbed the IV spot (on the wrist) with a local anesthetic before putting the IV in. From past experience, I know the wrist can be a painful spot for an IV but this one was great. Then we were ready to go. DH & I did our hugs and kisses and wishes of good luck to each other and she walked me to the procedure room. DH stayed behind waiting to be called to go take care of his business.

In the procedure room, I got up on the table and chilled while we waited for the doctor. They put something in my IV to relax me while we waited (and oh, that was nice stuff) and chatted for a bit. The embryologist came in to introduce herself. What they collected would be immediately handed off to her. Then the doctor walked in, they put more stuff in my IV, and told me to take a deep breath. Took one deep breath, felt no different. Took my second deep breath and I was out like a light. When I woke up, they helped me move from the procedure table to a rolling bed and wheeled me to recovery.

In the meantime DH had been whisked to the room of wonders to produce his swimmer supply. There was no DVD in the player this time so he was forced to do his business with the mags provided. Again, he reached for some international thing when he saw an article listed on the front, then reminded himself he wasn't there to read articles. So despite the noise outside the room with nurses and folks walking by and no DVD to watch, he was able to produce a wonderful bunch of sperm for our eggs.

So I'm in the recovery area and Dr. S comes in to tell me that we got 5 eggs. Oh, I was so relieved! I mean I know normally 5 isn't much to cheer about, but for my one ovary, I was so freaking proud. DH came in to the recovery area shortly after, surprised to see me done already and was happy to hear the news of our 5 eggs. I had some water, juice, and crackers (since I hadn't had anything since the night before) and eventually got to the point where I wasn't so completely loopy. The embryologist came in to repeat that we did get 5 eggs and that DH's specimen came back great so we would be able to fertilize normally and not need ICSI (where they have to insert a single sperm into each egg - normally used if there are very few eggs or when there are issues with the sperm like low count, low morphology, etc.)

This afternoon the embryologist would take DH's sperm and place it on the eggs and by tomorrow we'll know how many fertilized. We should get the call with our fertilization report around 10 or 11 am tomorrow. I'm already nervous about answering that call. It's scary to think that generally not all will fertilize, but I'm hoping we get a few that do.

Tomorrow I also start taking my Endometrin vaginal suppositories 3x a day. Normally in the non-IVF world, after ovulation the corpus luteum (left over cyst from the follicle) produces progesterone to thicken the lining of the uterus, providing a good healthy place for implantation of the embryo. With IVF, because they're aspirating the follicles including the fluid within, you need to take progesterone so you have enough to sustain a pregnancy until the placenta takes over (around 12 weeks of pregnancy.) So the hoo-ha inserts start tomorrow - bring 'em on!!

After tomorrow we will get daily calls to let us know how the embryos are doing. Our transfer date will depend on how they're growing but will be Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday. We'll find out the day before it happens. So I'll be blogging daily for the next few days; tomorrow to give you the fertilization report, then daily as we get the updates on our embabies, and then finally on how the transfer goes.

Thanks for all the positive thoughts and prayers, they're definitely working! Until tomorrow then...

5 eggs and millions of sperm

Yep, we got 5 eggs!! This normally wouldn't be so great but for one ovary, we are thrilled. And DH's goods were great so they can proceed with fertilization. I'll come on later when I'm less loopy from the anesthesia to write more about it but we'll know tomorrow morning how many fertilized. The suspense never ends in this process, huh?

Now, I'm heading down for a nap...ttyl

What tomorrow brings

Thank God for a busy day at work or I think I would have been completely distracted by tomorrow's events. It's amazing to know that we've made it to egg retrieval when 2 months ago I was recovering from the latest ectopic pregnancy. Crazy stuff! So what happens tomorrow? I shall share what I know so far...

DH and I need to arrive at the fertility center at 10:30. I'll be prepped for the procedure and meet with the anesthesiologist. For this the procedure they use IV conscious sedation so I won't feel anything - giant phew!! Now EXACTLY what happens after this, I'll need to report back on tomorrow after it's happened so I can give you the facts, but the abbreviated version is that while I'm in la-la land they will use a vaginal ultrasound to display the follicles on the screen. They will put a big giant needle through my vaginal wall and go from follicle to follicle aspirating each one. They'll hand off their findings to the embryologist to see how many eggs we got out of the follicles.

Now after they retrieve the eggs, DH will be whisked off to that special room so he can do his business. We don't imagine there will be any issue with him providing the goods as he had his practice run last month. And his semen analysis came back spectacular (123 million with 93.5% rapid forward progression) so we don't envision any issue with lack of swimmers for the big day. So once he's done his business his sperm will be washed (basically separating the sperm from the semen/fluids,) Then my beautiful mature eggs will get together with his young handsome sperm and hopefully they'll love each other as much as DH & I love each other.

Before we leave the facility, we'll be told how many eggs were retrieved from the follicles. The following day we'll find out how many of them fertilized. Then we'll get daily reports to see how the embryos are growing.

Now, if you're interested to see how they do the follicle aspiration, there is a great video on youtube. It's only a few minutes long but I must say it is completely fascinating - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfGWxGYFETo. Remember, this is not my doctor nor my follicles (obviously) but it gives you an idea of what will be happening to me tomorrow morning.

So I'll be back on tomorrow to tell you all how it went, how many eggs we got, etc. Oh, I hope I can sleep tonight. I'm so excited I don't know if it will be possible.

It's official - we trigger tonight!!!

OMG, I am beyond excited that we've made it this far!!

Today's u/s showed my 7 plump, beautiful follies and oh they looked magnificent (I really am a dork, huh?) But who cares - they really did look fabulous!! The smallest is now up to 17x13 and that's not that small given the fact that they'll continue to mature after the trigger shot tonight. Now, I know that not all follicles will have a mature egg in it, but man - seeing these follies grow and mature like they have the last few days has just given us a renewed sense of hope and optimism going into retrieval.

So now that I'm at the trigger stage - no more Bravelle, Menopur, or Ganirelix, YAY!!! I started my round of antibiotics this morning and at 11pm tonight I will do my two Ovidrel injections. These are pre-filled syringes that can be given in the lower belly like we've been doing with the other injections. This med needed to be stored in the fridge so I have my alarm set to get them to room temperature by 11pm. Then my egg retrieval will be Thursday at 11am. WOW!!!

I'll post more about the retrieval process tomorrow when I have more time. For today, I just wanted to hop on here on my lunch break to report back on my SnS this morning (epecially since I was so excited at my news I was ready to burst!!)

BTW, is it Thursday yet??? :-)

You go girl!

Today's SnS was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! U/s today had 7 measurable follies, woo-hoo!!! The largest was 21x18 and the smallest was 9x12. The rest were scattered in between, but most on the higher end of that range. Now, I know all 7 of them may not reach maturity by ER date, but still - this is FABULOUS news for my little ovary that could!! You go girl!!!

So, tonight I stay on my same dosage (6 Bravelle, 3 Menopur, 1 Ganirelix) and I go back for another SnS tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow! Doctor today (who I've now seen the last 3 visits) said there's a really good chance I'll be triggering tomorrow night for retrieval on Thursday. Holy shit, it's within arm's reach now!! Or should I say, it's within an extremely-long-needle-through-vaginal-wall's reach?? Bad joke, I know, but once I know my ER date I'll share more info on the retrieval process including that extremely long needle through the vaginal wall - god, the thought of that needle makes my hoo-ha cringe.

More to come tomorrow...

Mo money, mo follies

Got some follies cooking, but don't close that wallet just yet Mrs A. Turns out we're not quite done spending a fortune on medications...

Today's appointment was at 7:30am. I arrived early (of course) and got whisked through my b/w before I could even read a page of the new People magazine. Then came the moment of truth - u/s time. Would there be more follies? Will the ones I had have grown? Well, it was good news. I had 5 measurable follies today. The largest was 15x16 and the smallest was 7x8. The rest were in between in the 13, 12, 10 areas. It's rare to see the same RE twice in a row, but today I did and she said they look great, they've really improved since she saw me Thursday. This is awesome news! The follies are starting to mature!! YAY!!

So tonight and tomorrow night I again do my 6 Bravelle, 3 Menopur, and 1 Ganirelix. But, if you remember after tonight I'll be out of the Bravelle AGAIN!!! So guess where DH & I went today?? Since tomorrow is Sunday and FedEx deliveries wouldn't arrive until Monday, we took a lil drive to Trenton (only about 25 min away) to visit Alexander's Twin Pharmacy where our med orders are filled and shipped from. We purchased another 3 boxes of Bravelle (ching-ching, there goes another $749.25) so now I have enough meds for Sunday and Monday. Yes, you read that right - that will just get us through Monday night. God help us if we need more meds after Monday, I swear I will scream!!! This one cycle is now officially over $13k...oh I want to puke again. But for now I'm just trying to remind myself that it's ok. It's just money. We saved up this money with the sole purpose of using it for this IVF cycle. It's all ok.

Ok, that little mantra didn't work so I'll switch to another subject. Let me speak of these Ganirelix injections for a moment. Holy crap, can anyone say dull needles??? The needles that were sent for my Bravelle & Menopur are these lovely, short, sharp needles - often I don't even feel them go in. These Ganirelix suckers on the other hand are prefilled syringes with needles that seem thicker and they're definitely not as sharp. Last night I really felt like I had to push it to get it to poke it through my belly skin - OUCH, I'm so not a fan of that!

So now that I'm thoroughly distracted by the awful thought of dull needles later, I've almost forgotten about the extra money spent today. Almost. Next appointment is Monday morning bright and early...

I heart today's nurse (((HUGS)))

Howdy, howdy everybody! The follies are still cooking in there and we're moving closer towards retrieval day. The doctor rattled off measurements for 3 of the follies and then said there were a number of them less than 10 mm. I'm not stressing over how many yet or how big because there is still time for more follies to mature so we're just going to keep on thinking positively!! Grow Follies Grow!!!

As for my meds, tonight I continue with the 6 vials of Bravelle and 2 vials of Menopur. Tomorrow night I'll do 6 vials of Bravelle, bump it up to 3 vials of Menopur, and add a Ganirelix injection. So the human pincushion will be doing 3 injections per night...my poor chubby belly LOL! (As a reminder the antagonist injection is being added on to keep me from ovulating on my own.)

Now, if you think back to how much medication they ordered me and do the math, you'll realize that after tonight's injections, I will be down to 3 vials of Bravelle already. Holy shit, I'll have made it through over 9 boxes of Bravelle by tomorrow night!! So needless to say, I had a pit in my stomach this morning knowing I was going to need to order more meds.

Then a truly wonderful thing happened. The nurse & I were talking about me running out of meds before the doc came in and when she saw I was self-pay for meds and the IVF cycle her jaw dropped. The nurse said sometimes couples who were successful with IVF will donate any leftover medication they had, so she went off to check if they had any Bravelle and they did! She sent me home with 2 boxes of Bravelle (that's 10 vials and just over $400 worth of meds, YAY!!!) so now I have enough for tonight and tomorrow and then will still have 7 vials left. I still may need more depending on what they find at my next appointment on Saturday, but this donation was a HUGE relief and I am so thankful for my wonderful nurse K today!! I seriously wanted to hug her!!

My next appointment is Saturday @ 7:30 am so until then, I repeat - Grow Follies Grow!!!!

Progressing Nicely

Quick post while I'm on my lunch break. I forgot we're going to a MLS soccer game tonight (US Mens team vs. Colombia - YAY!) - so I figured I'd better get my post up now.

SnS went well. The fact that there were multiple follicles for the doc to measure was a great thing. The fact that they've grown to a measurable size is another great thing. Doc said I'm progressing nicely and I've got some "good potentials" going. I didn't ask for a number of follicles or sizes but as I was getting dressed to leave, I could see that the last 2 he measured were just over 6 mm and 7 mm respectively. Now I wish I'd been looking at the screen for the first few measurements, DAMN! Oh well, probably better that I don't know them all this early on or I'd be comparing them to everyone I could find on the internet and that's just inviting stress and worry. Anyways, so you know the finish line we're shooting for for next week - mature follicles are generally 18-24 mm. In order to get to retrieval you need at least 3 follicles with a mean diameter of 18 mm.

So unless I hear back on any issue with my b/w, I'll stay on the same dosage of meds for the next two nights. Next SnS appointment will be Thursday morning so I'll be back with an update then. And maybe I'll remember to crook my neck slightly left and forward to have a better view of the measurements as they come up on the screen in case he doesn't say them out loud. Oh, I am so bad!! :-)

Hoping for a good SnS tomorrow!

So it's been a few days and you might be wondering how things are going in our world. I'm kinda wondering too. Just kidding, things are going great with our injections. But seriously I AM wondering how my little ovary is taking this bombardment of hormones. I'll get some clues for us all tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my first SnS appointment after starting my stims. What is a SnS appointment you say? Well, SnS is a completely non-technical abbreviation that someone made up on an IVF message board. Someone at some point in time referred to the blood work and ultrasound appointments as "stick-n-stir" - stick as in the needle stick, stir as in the unpleasant ultrasound wand that goes stirring around in your hoo-hah. So stick-n-stir became SnS and that's what we refer to these appointments as now.

Anywho, the purpose of the SnS appointment is to check a couple things. The u/s will be used to see how many follicles are growing and how large the follicles are getting. I should be hearing the doctor call out measurements of the follicles soon, as the number of good-sized follicles will indicate when I start the Ganirelix (antagonist injection) and when I do the trigger shot prior to egg retrieval. If I had my say, I would like a good number of follicles and I would like them all nicely mature and consistently sized (if you've got a minute to take care of that for me God.)

The blood work will measure the E2 (estradiol) level, which should rise accordingly with the increasing size and number of follicles. An E2 level that does not rise appropriately could cause a cycle to be cancelled due to lack of response. An E2 level that rises too much could indicate OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) which can be extremely painful and dangerous. The 2 stim meds I'm currently using work to increase the number of follicles that mature, but one of them also provides Luteinizing Hormone (LH) which helps the follicles mature. So the SnS appointment could lead to a decrease or increase in both meds or we could see them cut back on one med I take while increasing the other.

Oh, and want to know a weird fact??? The Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) in my meds is purified from the urine of post-menopausal women. Apparently post-menopausal women make high quantities of FSH and LH...who knew!?!?

Well, I better get to bed soon so I can get up at the crack of dawn for my SnS appointment. Hopefully I'll have good news on the follie & E2 level front. I'll know the u/s results as they see the follies on the screen. The b/w usually takes 2-3 hours to come back and they'll call me with the results so I know whether I need to adjust my meds. So I'll be back on tomorrow night to let you know what happens next. Until tomorrow...

First injections done!

We made it through our first injections!! It took me FOREVER to mix them all as I was all nervous and anal. But I successfully mixed 1 ml of diluant into 6 vials of Bravelle in the first syringe, Then I mixed 1 ml of diluant in 2 vials of Menopur in the second syringe. I attached the nice tiny needles and we were ready to roll. DH did a great job giving me my first injection and I did the second one just fine. I was a little nervous right before I did it (I don't know why - I guess it's just because I've never given myself an injection.) But with those really short, sharp needles, the injections were painless, just a tiny bit of sting with the Menopur. The picture above is just my ugly kitchen counter all set up with tonight's supplies before I started the mixing.

Game On!!!

Woo-hoo!!!! We got the go-ahead!!!

Basically for these ultrasound (u/s) /blood work (b/w) checks, there aren't appointments, you just show up anytime between 7:15-8:45 and it's first come, first serve. I arrived at the doctor's at 7:15 this morning and the waiting room was already packed, WTH!! After a few minutes and a few flips of the page in a recent Redbook magazine I was called to the window to pay my $7541.00. It was nice how the receptionist whispered the amount to me so everyone in the waiting room didn't realize I was now flat broke.

A few minutes later, I was called in for my b/w- no problemo there - then was moved to another waiting room. About 20 minutes later, I was called in for my ultrasound. The RE that did my surgery was on this morning so he did the ultrasound and I was very, very excited to hear my antral follie count was 7!!! Remember a week and a half ago it was only 4 so I was tickled pink to have a few more in there now. Everything else on my u/s looked good - no cysts, uterine lining measured 8 and as long as the b/w came back fine, I'd be starting stims tonight.

Next stop was across the hall so the nurse could review all of my meds with me. We basically just went through what I had to use now and when all the others would come into play. She also showed me how to mix my meds and do the injections (I was glad I watched the videos again last night, because now between the videos and watching the nurse, I think I've got it down.) She gave me my initial dosage - 375 iu (5 vials) of Bravelle and 150iu (2 vials) of Menopur each evening and reminded me that I'll go back Tuesday morning for my next u/s and b/w. Then I headed home to wait for the call to see if the b/w came back ok.

Got the call a few minutes ago and b/w came back fine (YAY!!) However, something must have caught their eye in the b/w because they told me to use 6 vials of Bravelle (450iu) instead of 5 (and still do the 2 vials of Menopur.) This is a pretty large dose of stims - large enough where I'll have to do 2 injections each evening. So in order to "involve" DH in the process more, I think I'll have him give me one of the injections each night and I'll give myself the other one. What husband wouldn't get a kick out of this??

So I'll definitely let you know how the first mix and inject session goes. Maybe I'll even get a pic in here of me as the mad scientist. Woo-hoo it's really, really starting!!!!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow...

So tomorrow's the big day! If all goes well with the ultrasound and blood work, I should be starting my stims tomorrow! OMG, I soooo hope everything goes well or I'll be crawling into bed for the weekend to cry...God help DH if that's the case, poor guy.

I've re-watched my videos on mixing the meds and injecting them. I've got my meds all packed in a box, ready to cart into the doctor's office tomorrow morning so they can review them all with me. I've got the alarm set on my cell phone to get up really early (I need to get in and out of the doc's nice and early because we have furniture being delivered tomorrow morning...Woo-Hoo on the furniture - this was desperately needed!!!)

Now I'm going to go relax, watch some Project Runway, and say a little prayer that tomorrow goes well. Say one with me, will you?

Less than 3 days away!!!!!

Hi there everyone! I've been quiet the last few days as I went to visit my kids and grand-daughter for the weekend then came home and got wrapped back up in work, school, etc. But I did find out late last week that my other grand-baby that's due in February is a girl, so YAY!!!

So, I took my last BCP pill yesterday and got to throw out the rest of the pack so I really only had to take two weeks worth. At this point, I may or may not get a period - it's not necessary to have one, but coming off the BCPs may cause me to have one. Yeah, just what I need, more period, spotting, etc. Remember how I spotted forever?? Yeah, that's how it's been the last week or so too UGH!!!

Anyways, on Friday morning I have to cart my big old baby-in-a-box into the doctor's office. They will do a baseline u/s to make sure there are no cysts, check the uterine lining, and do an antral follie count, etc. If all looks clear, they will review all of my medications with me and let me know my starting dosages. Wow, I could really be starting this all on Friday!! That appointment is less than 3 days away now!! WOW!!!

So I'll be posting more Friday evening. Hopefully I'll have some good news from the baseline appointment and will be able to share my experience of mixing my meds and giving myself my first injection (fingers crossed that I get the go-ahead.) Woo-hoo!!!