Good stuff & uncertain stuff

Well, I've got good stuff and uncertain stuff to talk about today so we'll start with the good stuff.

Turns out my rash is eczema. WTF - I already have 2 kinds of psoriasis, do I seriously need ANOTHER skin ailment? Apparently though, it's eczema brought on by seasonal allergies, which were pretty darn bad this fall. From what the dermatologist said it starts with super itchy skin which is exactly how mine started. But as you start to scratch it and break the skin, the eczema "rash" comes out. So he gave me a prescription ointment that is safe to use during pregnancy and with the first application of it, I was able to go for hours without scratching. Oh, it felt wonderful not to itch all night!! I should be free and clear of all of the itching within 10 days.

Now onto the uncertain stuff - I'm having cramping and spotting. Let me just start by saying I fucking hate this shit!! I wish I was one of those chicks on the TV show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" who feels some pain, goes to the hospital, finds out she's pregnant AND in labor and voila, the baby's just fine and dandy. But no, we IVF-ers get to worry about everything from day 1. Oh hell, what am I saying? We have to worry about everything prior to day 1 when we realize we have to resort to IVF because we can't even think of getting pregnant without it.

Anyways, last night I had quite a bit of unpleasant cramping. I was pretty uncomfortable so I hung out on the couch reading for the evening, trying to take my mind off of the cramping. Warning - next sentence contains TMI. So when it was time to go to bed last night I inserted my progesterone suppository with the little plunger and when I pulled the plunger out, the normally white goop (from the melted suppositories) was pink. So it looks like along with the cramping, there's some spotting going on in there. This morning, still cramping and same pink goop when I put in this morning's suppository.

FUCK!!! I mean I know this could be normal. The suppositories can irritate the cervix after awhile and cause some spotting. But what makes me nervous is the fact that I'm having BOTH spotting and cramping. But again this is very normal in early pregnancy. They've just never been a good sign in my history. DOUBLE FUCK!!! So I put in a call to the RE's nurse line and I just need to basically take it easy and call them ASAP if the spotting turns into bright red bleeding. I still go back on Monday for my next beta and my u/s will be Thursday at 9am.

In the meantime I just keep praying and hoping and hoping and praying that everything is really ok. Prayers and/or positive thoughts are always welcome!