I woke up this morning to 3 zits

“Wow, really?” “3 zits you say?” I know, I know…this is not worthy of a major headline nor am I worried about how this may affect my audition for the next cycle of America’s Next Top Model (I am soooo kidding) but the presence of these 3 zits generally is one of Aunt Flo’s many calling cards. Think of it as she’s calling to say “Hi dear, get the guest room ready cause I’ll be by sometime next week.” Damn her!

To help you understand my disdain for Aunt Flo, picture this if you will.

• About a week before her arrival I get whacked with “Super-emotional-weepy day”. For example, this past Sunday I cried at a Dateline special on people losing their jobs and having to utilize a food pantry. Now, many people would cry over that segment given the current economic woes, however that same day I also cried at the theme song for Discovery Health’s new show NICU. Not the show itself, the THEME SONG. Cuckoo, cuckoo…
• About 5-7 days before her arrival I get the strategic placement of the aforementioned zits - one of which this month is smack dab in the middle of my forehead – thanks Flo!
• Along with the the zits, come “sausage fingers”. Think of giant Snausages dog treats in place of my fingers. Or think back to the episode of Seinfeld where Jerry’s date had man-hands. Between my psoriasis and sausage fingers, I’d make a great “Before picture” hand model.
• Aunt Flo makes me ravenous. As DH and I sat down to dinner last night, I advised him that we had a “situation”. The situation was we ran out of Chip’s Ahoy cookies as I plowed my way through the whole package over a 2-day span.
• Oh, these pants don’t fit well today. Is Aunt Flo causing bloating? Or was it the Chip’s Ahoy overload? I don’t know, but it happens every month so I’m blaming it on Flo.
• She’s the most unpredictable houseguest I’ve ever had. Sometimes she stays for 3 days, sometimes for 5, and once she overstayed her visit and lingered for 9 freaking days. Seriously Flo, you really wore out your welcome on that visit!
• Don’t even get me started on how much extra laundry Flo makes me do. She’s really a mess.
• Aunt Flo’s arrival means we’re still not pregnant.

Now, pregnancy symptoms and PMS actually have a lot in common so there is still hope for this cycle. There’s always hope. After all, it’s not over till the old hag shows up. I'd say I'd keep my fingers crossed, but I don't think my fat little sausage fingers will cooperate today. TTYL!