Not crazy about the OB

So I finally have a few minutes to write about this morning's appointment with the new OB. Let's just say I'm not thrilled. I didn't get a warm fuzzy feeling...at all. I didn't get that feeling of "I'm in good hands." That may sound silly but after having that one OB drop the ball in a big way in February, I DO want someone who is going to make me feel reassured. Maybe I've been spoiled by my RE's but I've gone through way too much these last two years. I'm not settling.

The office staff was nice enough, though I did have to tell the nurse my due date because she was a little confused as to how to calculate it for an IVF patient. They're used to calculating from your last menstrual period since most people don't know exactly when they conceived. But with IVF we don't go by the last period and we do know when we conceived - the day of egg retrieval is the day of conception. But I guess their handy little due date wheels don't take that into account. Anyways, from what I hear, people having trouble calculating an IVF due date so I'll let that slide.

Then I meet the doctor. At times she seems friendly and at times not so much. Little things like her order (and it really did sound like I was being harshly warned) that "You can gain a maximum of 25 pounds!" I felt like saying "And just what will you do if I gain 26 or really push my luck and gain 27?" It reminded me of years ago when I was pregnant with DS and had a month where I gained close to 10 pounds. Why that happened that one month I'll never know, but the nurse yelled at me and I cried the whole drive home in the car.

We then started talking about the screening for Down's syndrome, etc. I said that I was fine with doing the nuchal fold u/s (that looks at the thickness at the back of the neck) and any bloodwork but I'm not interested in any invasive procedures like amnio or CVS. She asked why. Why? Because if our baby has Down's syndrome then our baby has Down's syndrome. We're not going to love it any less and we're certainly not going to terminate. So then I asked her what else the nuchal u/s & bloodwork would screen for (in case it screens for abnormalities that would be incompatible with life.) Does she answer me? No, instead she thinks I should make an appointment with the genetic counselors. Oh for the love of Pete!!

Now I understand this could just be this one doc. I normally wouldn't base my decision to stay with or leave a practice based on a single physician. They have a lot of doctors so maybe I just don't feel a particular kinship to the one I saw today. But it was when we started talking about my cervix that my mood really started to sink. I had provided her with my history and mentioned that I do have a consultation with Dr D. tomorrow. "Why would you schedule that? He's not even part of our practice" is her answer. To which I say "Because he has a great deal of experience and I'd had another patient refer me so I would like his opinion." Well, whether this hurt her ego or just pissed her off I'll never know but she did not like this answer and said a few snippy things back.

She then went on to say that they have MFM's (Maternal Fetal Medicine specialists) on their staff if I would like their opinion (which I would.) But here's the kicker - her exact words were "but I can tell you right now, we don't generally do cerclages because there's no proof that they work. So you can make an appointment with Dr. F but a cerclage is not going to be an option he'll recommend." So, really? There's no proof? None at all? Now, I'm not stupid - I know cerclages don't always work, they're not always the answer, and heck I hope I don't even need one - BUT do you really completely exclude a treatment method from every patient in your practice because a doctor in your practice believes they don't work? Is each patient's circumstances not different? I guess not. So what's the back-up plan if my cervix starts to dilate at 18 weeks? No answer from today's doc, but I can make an appointment with Dr F to consult. Ummm, yeah, I called to make an appointment and they can see me on 12/22. That's 3 weeks away and sorry guys, with incompetent cervix time is of the essence.

So I'm going to get Dr D's opinion tomorrow and go from there. If it looks like I may need to go down the route of cerclage I think I need to find a OB group that is more supportive of that. I don't want to be frowned upon every time I go for an office visit.

Oh and p.s. - Our u/s with the RE got moved up to 7:00pm tonight so we do have that great appointment to look forward to with the doctors we love and we'll get to see our little bean again! Yippee!