I love rollercoasters...but not this one

So for the third day in a row, the IC and FRER showed faint 2nd lines. Ok, what the hell is going on? The lines aren’t getting darker but they’re still showing up. So I bring out the big-big gun – the Clearblue Easy Digital. I figure if this displays “Not Pregnant”, Aunt Flo should be here at any time. Instead, the digi shows “Pregnant”!!! WOW!!

So I went to my doctor to get my first hCG level (beta) and progesterone level drawn. The first beta level confirms pregnancy (or confirms that you’re not pregnant) but doesn’t really tell you if the pregnancy is a viable one. The subsequent draws every 2-3 days need to show doubling to indicate a viable pregnancy, followed by an early ultrasound to ensure the sac is in the uterus and not in a tube or on an ovary, etc. Following this early monitoring is critical after having tubal reversal surgery and especially after having already had an ectoptic pregnancy. So I left the blood draw knowing they’ll call me with the results tomorrow. Woo-hoo, I’m excited!

Well, I was excited – but no more than an hour after getting home from the blood draw I started spotting. Now, I know some women spot throughout their entire pregnancy and have healthy pregnancies, but when I’ve started spotting with the last two pregnancies it was the beginning of the end. So now the celebratory mood I had earlier has changed to one of uncertainty and hope and dread all wrapped into one. I’m trying to stay optimistic but it’s like reading a book knowing exactly how the story will end. Please God, if you're listening, I’ve had enough unhappy endings. Please let this story have a happy one.