Today has been a tough day. Tomorrow is my TAC surgery and I feel like my nerves are frayed down to the last fiber. The world feels like a giant rubber band just waiting to snap. DH just took pups to be boarded for the night since we have to be at the hospital before his camp opens for daycare and I nearly started crying saying goodbye to the dog. Oh, heavens!
Earlier today the freezer, or rather the frozen food within it, became victims of my nerve frayed rampage. I'd gone grocery shopping today to stock up on fruits, veggies, and other high fiber foods for when I come home from the hospital. As I stuffed items into the freezer a few things started falling out on me. This pissed me off enough to throw everything onto the floor in a rage, yelling the whole time. DH wisely stepped away from the violent scene of Amanda v. frozen waffles and turkey burgers and came back to console me after I'd cried for a good 10 minutes or so. Was I upset at the falling frozen foods? No, but my emotions were on edge so badly I just couldn't take it another second.
Thankfully the day has improved slightly though I'm still sick to my stomach with nervousness. I've been knocked out for procedures over 20 times and I've had 13 surgeries in my life - but never have I been nervous like this. Of course all of those times, it was just me on that operating table. But this time it's me and little baby Alvarez. I know we're in good hands. I know this will give us the best possible chance of carrying the baby to term. And I know deep down that we're going to be just fine but hard as I try, I just can't tell my nerves to calm down. Hopefully tonight I'll find enough calmness to help me sleep until 4am when we have to wake up and get ready.
Well, it might be a couple days until I'm back online. Hopefully I'll only have to stay at the hospital 1 night, but it could be longer. So I'll post again once I'm home and will let you know how everything went. Any prayers and positive thoughts coming through the universe are welcome and greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
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