14w3d - Why I hate pregnancy message boards

Wow, what a long week this was! The pic above was from Thursday when I was 14w0d, but I've been too exhausted to write and post it until now. My plan this past week was to "ease" back into full days of work...YEAH RIGHT! My first day back I clocked 7.5 hours, the next day 8, the next 11, followed by 10, followed by 8.5. Being out for 3+ weeks meant there was a lot of catching up to do. So needless to say in addition to working, walking the dog, grocery shopping, making dinner, and day to day housekeeping, I couldn't even think of writing at night - my brain was just plain mush!

I did email my doc about the 6 week gap before my next appointment and he said I could come in for a visit in between if I'd like. But DH & I talked and we decided we're going to think optimistically and shoot for the appointment on 2/22. We know now from experience that if there is any issue or concern in the meantime, one phone call to Dr D is all it takes and he's quick to see us that day. So that really puts our mind at ease. And our little doppler to listen to the h/b is a godsend. God, it's so reassuring to hear that galloping sound a couple times a week! On 2/22, I'll be 19w5d and we'll get to have the "big" u/s, which means we should be able to find out if this little one is a boy or a girl. According to the poll on here, votes for a girl are still slightly edging out the votes for a boy.

So earlier in the week, I mentioned how I'm not a fan of pregnancy message boards. And this is quite sad to me as I've found great support and encouragement from a private tubal reversal message board I participate in and from the IVF board I participate in. There is a Pregnant After Treatment section on the IVF board, thank goodness for that, but as for general pregnancy message boards...ugh, I can't stand them and here's why.

• Argue, argue, argue - OMG, if you want to see grown women argue over things in catty and downright bitchy ways, just go to a pregnancy message board. You'll be sure to find what you're looking for. For example, if someone posts that they think they felt movement at 11 weeks - you'll see 20 people say "Yeah, me too!" and another 20 bash those posters saying it's physically impossible to feel movement that early. This leads to the rebuttal posts where someone's mother's sister's cousin's friend felt it at 10 weeks and she knows the difference between gas and fetal movement. Which leads to the counter-rebuttal that well, maybe if you're super thin and you've already had babies, MAYBE it's possible, but if you're fat, there's just no way. This will go on with pages and pages of replies. And that's just a single thread. Are you rolling your eyes yet?? Yes, me too!
• Ridiculous, idiotic posts - Some of the most common examples are those where a poster states that they have gas, their boobs are sore, and they are bloated. They want to know if people think they're pregnant. WHAT??? Go cough up $10 bucks at CVS and piss on a stick you idiot? How in the world would we know if they're pregnant. Oh, those make me roll on the floor laughing! One variation to this that appeared on a message board recently was where the poster had negative pregnancy tests, a negative pregnancy blood test, and an u/s that showed no pregnancy - yet she still is convinced that she's 12 weeks pregnant. Wow - that's one poster in need of some psychiatric help, pronto! My favorite reply to her post - someone told her well, I guess just wait until July and see if a baby pops out. Classic!
• Dumb chick posts - There are TONS of posts out there in this category. One recent example is from a poster whose boyfriend thinks her baby bump is gross. She writes how he thought this with their first baby also and constantly tells her how ugly and useless she is and he also doesn't want to have sex with her anymore. Most of the replies have the general theme that "girl, your dude is a dick!" More specifically they try to tell her that he's immature and it's terrible to have him speak to her that way, especially in front of their first child. What does original poster think of their advice? She calls the posters mean, she loves her man, and she's going to leave the board because all she wanted was support. WTF!?!? Apparently this chick has no idea what she wants, but she clearly doesn't want a good tall dose of honesty.
• Judgemental PITAs (Pain in the asses) - Do you care if your neighbor co-sleeps with their baby? Do you care if Mary Q Public formula feeds? Probably not. But holy shit do women like to pounce on each other for what they plan to do. The top hot button topics that people bash each other on are:

- Natural vs. medicated (epidural) birth - WTF do people care what another poster is going to do with their birth plan? I just can't figure it out. My first 2 children were born with only a shot of demerol in my ass cheek. I was not offered an epidural with either one. Does this make me some kind of birthing hero? HELL NO! If I were able to have a vaginal birth this time I'd be 1st in line for an epidural. Does that make me piece of shit? Well, if you read threads like this example - yes, many would shoot me down for my choice, but in my opinion - goodness no. If there is something that can make a woman more comfortable during the labor process so she can reserve her energy for the pushing part of labor, by all means it should be readily available. Now, since I have to have a c-section due to my TAC this debate is not applicable to me.

- Breastfeeding vs. Formula - On one side of the fence you've got the women who want nothing to do with breastfeeding and on the other you've got those doing breastfeeding protests at malls and some women who breastfeed their children until they're ready to go to kindergarten. Is the mother who chooses to formula feed an uncaring mother? No. Yes, it's true that breastfeeding passes on immunities to babies and it is the best food for them. But not everyone is able to breastfeed so lay off the criticism. With my children I did breastfeed for the first few months and supplemented with formula because you know what? Breastfeeding, while wonderful and I loved it, is pretty exhausting sometimes, especially when you've got little babies who like to eat constantly. What will I do with this baby? I do plan on breastfeeding and again I will supplement with formula.

- Circumcision vs not - OMG, this one has even been a battle between Facebook friends of mine lately. Wow, I never realized such heated arguments could start over the foreskin of a penis. On one side of the spectrum we have people hoping to convince Congress to make it illegal because it's barbaric. On the other side, people want to maintain their right to have their baby circumcised for religious, cosmetic, or personal reasons. I fall into place with the latter category. Circumcision (or not to circumcise) is a personal decision for a parent to make about their male child. If this baby I'm carrying is a boy, yes, he will be circumcised. And if you don't like that, guess what? You don't have to like it and you can walk away from this blog at any time.

- Co-sleeping vs. not - Again is this really a topic to debate? Wow, it always amazes me that people have so little going on in their lives that they feel the need to debate these issues with perfect strangers. So on the one hand we've got the pro-co-sleeping people who think it's fine to have children sleep in their bed (becomes more of a family bed) and those who think no, children can sleep in their beds and parents can have their private time in their own bed. I side with the latter. I'd like a good night's sleep thank you and a little private time with my husband (albeit we'll both be conked out from exhaustion.) I have no problem with co-sleeping, I just prefer to sleep without little feet kicking my head. Now, don't get me wrong there's always that bad dream night or a bad storm outside and on nights like those - I'll take the feet kicking my head. But not all of the time thank you.

Now these bullets and examples I give are just a brief glimpse at the insanity that these boards contain. Why do I go to them then? Well, it's kind of like a train wreck. I don't actually post or participate in these boards, but reading them is like watching a disaster of epic proportions - I just can't turn away. Sometimes it's like a soap opera, other times like a Jerry Springer episode. But there's always a thread that will make you roll your eyes and groan in disgust just one more time.