I like to have the TV on in the background while I work and today Starz treated me to two of my favorite movies - "Julie and Julia" and "Up". These movies are absolutely delightful start to finish but they also each contain short scenes that deal with infertility and both bring a tear to my eye at those parts.
In "Julie and Julia" there is a scene where Paul hands Julia a letter from her sister Dorothy. As she reads it she says aloud to Paul that Dorothy is pregnant. Paul consoles her as she starts to cry but tries with all her might to still sound happy as she proclaims she's really so happy for them. It's a short scene but it's heartbreaking because that's such a horrible feeling to have. I remember DH consoling me as people we knew announced their pregnancies and we had to work so hard to express our happiness while inside (and well for me outside) there were so many tears. I just remember holding onto DH so tightly, crying and asking him "Why not us?" That scene just reminds me of those days and my heart goes out to everyone who has ever felt that pain.
In the early scenes of the animated movie "Up", we see the history between Carl and his wife Ellie. As DH & I were watching it one day, he saw the scene where Carl & Ellie are painting the nursery and DH said "That's us!" The very next scene shows Ellie being spoken to by an OB/GYN, her face in her hands, and her husband consoling her in her grief. DH sadly said, "Yep, that's us too." That scene always brings me back to our ectopic pregnancies. I can still see us sitting there (the first time in the ER, the second time in the RE's office) watching our dreams get snatched away from us and feeling our hearts break horribly. Again, my heart goes out to every couple who has ever sat there and felt that heart wrenching pain.
It's these little moments in these two movies that could be easily missed. And perhaps if we hadn't struggled the way we did, these scenes would just be another moment in a movie to me and would not hold the significance that they do. While I never wanted to go through as much pain as we have, I think it's definitely opened our eyes to the difficulties many people have in conceiving and made us more compassionate to those struggling. And these two short but touching scenes will hopefully be little reminders to others out there that not everyone is lucky enough to have the opportunity to have a child.
As our little Maribel flips around and kicks me with much force today, I can definitely say - we feel extraordinarily lucky.
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